“Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish in the crowd.”
Halloween this year was rather eventful - but not in the orthodox sense. I had been scheduled to man the Dia de Los Muertos corner from 10am until I left for clinical at 2pm. Typically clinical ends at 9:30pm. With such a long day before me, I did the one thing that could immediately make it better - I dressed up!
My costume this year was Snow White. I have always been keen on the Disney princess and after watching the television show Once Upon a Time I have become more and more attached to her. I made myself as pale as I could look without looking dead, and wore a bright shade of lipstick to complete the look.
My friend dressed up as Red Riding Hood, who, in Once Upon a Time is best friends with Snow White. It was a perfect match! We hung out pretty much all day just for effect. (Not really, we just like hanging out together - plus we are in the same clinical group). I even had the honor of curling her luscious blond hair! I think I had far too much fun helping her with her costume.
In fact, I helped put together costumes for several of my friends! If there's one thing I truly appreciate about Halloween, it's the opportunity to show off a great costume. Maybe it's from theatre withdrawals...
Anyway, one of my first tasks of the day included whipping up a batch of champurrado (Mexican hot chocolate) for our Dia de Los Muertos celebration. It was so easy to make and delicious! I decided not to post my own photos with the recipe because the ones I took did not do it justice.
As I mentioned, I was scheduled for the M.E.Ch.A. corner all morning, but some replacements came in time for me to complete a festive scavenger hunt around school. Of course, Red was my hunting companion. Scuttling around campus, we saw all sorts of costumes! The faculty and staff had some of the best costumes.
Unfortunately my day was cut short by clinical. Although I did end up throwing some swimming goggles around my neck to participate in the sports-themed festivities at the care facility, I did not feel quite so enthused about the holiday. Fortunately, we did get off early (by 15 minutes, but still).
As soon as I returned, I gathered my friends and we ventured out to 23rd to hit up Little Big Burger before it closed to get our beloved truffle fries. After satisfying our salty cravings, we then satisfied our sweet cravings through Salt'N'Straw. The icing on the cake was that Salt'N'Straw - pause for effect - did not have a line. The day could not have gotten any better.
From left: Tinkerbell (Milly), Esmeralda (Amanda),
Snow White (Me), and Red Riding Hood (Emily).
...And that was the extent of my Halloween festivities. I returned from the outing exhausted and heading towards a food coma, or as I recently learned, a postprandial somnolence. (What can I say? I'm still a nursing student.)
Did I previously mention my involvement with the latin@ group on campus called Movimiento Estudiantil Chicano de Aztlán (M.E.Ch.A.)? Whether or not I did, I am a co-president of the group and helped put on today's celebration of a Mexican holiday, El Dia de Los Muertos. It is not technically a two-day celebration, but our group wanted to include as many people that attend classes at this campus, especially those that commute, in our celebration. Our first day was a success! There was a great turnout and the pan dulce and champurrado we provided were a hit!!
Our set-up in the common area, complete with an altar with decorations and a list of the deceased we are honoring as well as a bit of history behind the cultural event.
As much as I enjoyed receiving compliments on our display and the food and drinks, I hope that tomorrow we can provide more cultural background to the festivities - it being Halloween and all. I will be making the champurrado tomorrow morning which I will, of course, document and post about tomorrow. I will also provide the recipe for champurrado on the Recipes page.
On a side note: I am very excited for Halloween tomorrow...
Out of all the things from the Stevens Family show on Disney Channel I remember, I remember Ren Stevens sing-songingly recite this. It is almost poetical how simplistic the rhyme is - especially with its depth. Now, this may be me over-analyzing things again, but I have found myself repeating this to myself every day and wonder if it is damaging my idea of a successful day.
I always wonder right before bed if there are a few more things I can do before ending my day. Whether that be writing a blogpost or reading one more section of a textbook, I always think of one or two more things that I can do to make my day seem more fulfilled. Silly, no?
With the fast pace of nursing school, I constantly wonder if I am missing out on things. For instance, today I had an episode of New Girl playing on my computer as I took notes for a class. (SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 2) It got to the episode in which Nick kisses Jess (finally!) and I had to take a moment to recover my thoughts. It was such an expected thing, based on the way the season was going, but it took me completely by surprise.
Or take, for a simpler example, looking at my cousin's senior soccer photos. I could not believe how grown-up my cousin looked! I still cannot believe time flies the way it does.
What if I am missing out on things? I do not want to miss out on my loved ones' lives! I do not want to do poorly in school either! I want to keep up with everything all at once! WHAT TO DO?!?!
It occurred to me when I went to get bubble tea and fries (do not judge me - truffle fries and guava bubble tea with tapioca hit the spot after an exam) - that all I need to do is use my rewards wisely. Instead of napping when I do not necessarily need the sleep or watching a movie on my own I could be cooking in the kitchen with friends or enjoying someone's company while waiting in line to devour a delicious dessert (cough*Salt'N'Straw*cough). However pressed for time I may be, spending time with friends and accomplishing other tasks all amount to productivity in my book.
My darling sister reminded me yesterday that National Novel Writing Month (November) is coming up and she is already preparing herself for her fifth year. I, of course, accepted the implied challenge. For more information on NaNoWriMo, check out nanowrimo.org.
I apologize for the lack of postings the last few days. It is becoming needless to say I was drained from the preceding week's events and needed a break from obligations. This break included my weekly trip to the farmers' market where I purchased pear butter (delicious, try it if the opportunity arises), a trip to see my cousins, and a necessary trip to Anna Bannanas to try a new beverage and study.
Among the hot topics worthy of pondering, the three most popular at the moment are:
The list
Christmas gifts
Jobs
I continually think of good ideas to add to the list but eventually come up with a reason not to add them. For instance, I was thinking of adding a silent retreat to the list, but then I thought it would almost be the same as a day of silence. I could use a few creative minds' suggestions as I am getting restless and want more challenges. Hint, hint. Where should I take this project?
I know I really should not even be thinking about Christmas gifts as it is not yet even Halloween, yet I find myself trying to think of creative gifts rather than strictly material ones. I have one idea for my close friends, but I would also like to do something festive. Any ideas?
I am so grateful for the job I currently have, but I have been thinking about where I want to work in the future. Not the long-term future, the short-term. What I mean is, I will hopefully be getting my CNA license in December and I would like to have a job for January, but I do not know where I want to direct my application efforts. Should I apply for a job at a long-term care facility? Should I apply for a job at a clinic? Should I apply for a job at a hospital? Should I continue to work in food services until I am ready to work in the healthcare field?
Thoughts like these rotate around in my head, sharing equal time bothering my sanity. The weather is not helping either - it puts me in such a contemplative mood!
It seems as though I have spent far too much time complaining/discussing things I do not like and not appreciating/endorsing things I do like. So, without further ado, I introduce the first Thankful Thursday! ("A month before Thanksgiving? She's crazy." you say? BA HUMBUG.) I will simply write a list of little things that I am especially thankful for.
sleeping in a whopping 25 minutes
finding/playing the fishing game on the rowing machine at the gym
taking a 20 minute nap
having a nice, warm cup of coffee
seeing the gorgeous weather and colors of nature outside
getting my prescription refilled within less than 10 minutes
being complimented for my shirt
running late without causing any trouble
eating a fresh carrot and tomato spinach salad with a slice of bread and an apple for dinner
figuring out why my resident was anxious around me
(subsequently) putting my resident to bed
receiving support from the CNAs and LPN at clinical
finding out an assignment is due later than I thought
Some of them are not very exciting, but each event made me happy today and I thought I would share some of my happiness. That is all.
I am very uncomfortable around children that are not related to me. I am always afraid I will overstep some social/personal boundary that will make parents and kids alike disapprove of me. I am all too aware of the phrase "stranger danger" and my consistent over-analytical perspective, however, I cannot help feeling tongue-tied whenever I am around a child.
Today we were able to speak with two seasoned pediatric nurses about their experiences in communicating with children. I was in awe of their demeanor and of their attitude toward their patients. I commented on my lack of ease around children and asked them whether it was possible to overcome my boundary fear. They responded warmly that in peds (short for pediatrics), boundaries cease to exist as one gets to know one's patient and patient's family. The nurses spoke about desensitizing the patient to their role through simple measures such as prolonged presence, fleeting touch, and speech pattern.
Part of treating a peds patient is acknowledging their needs based on their age group as well as their individual needs. For instance, if a school-aged peds patient is undergoing surgery one might try to explain the procedure based on the patient's interest in learning and give them some sort of responsibility used toward the burgeoning sense of competence. One might also encourage the patient to then explain the procedure to his or her family.
I do not want to make it seem as though I can now be the child whisperer (that is creepy and should probably not even be uttered facetiously), but by keeping those concepts and tips in the back of my mind, I hope I can now make positive contact with a child unrelated to me. (I have tried re-writing the previous sentence to make it sound less creepy, but let's be honest, a post talking about talking to children is already walking a fine line.)
The title of this post is in the format of a Nursing Diagnosis. A nursing diagnosis is sort of like a medical diagnosis in that it identifies a particular aspect of a patient to treat, however, it is has more to do with the individual, family, or community experience/response to the medical diagnosis or life processes than the medical diagnosis itself. It is basically distinguishing things that nurses can do to affect a patient's treatment experience. I am going to take you through my nursing diagnosis step-by-step, partially because it is an educational experience for me and partially because it is a de-stressing activity.
Nursing school has so many side effects on nursing students. There are obvious ones like increased critical thinking and communication skills, decreased gag-reflex, and impaired writing skills. One major one for me is increased anxiety levels. Up until now, I have dealt with the anxiety-inducing events with ease, following the thought process that the event is going to happen anyway so I might as well prepare as best as I can for it while I can instead of stressing about it. Now, with a completed medication administration performance evaluation under my belt (as of this afternoon) and a major exam coming up tomorrow, my mindset is a bit less accepting. This afternoon, immediately before my performance evaluation, I felt the first symptoms of my anxiety. They diminished slightly after running at the gym, but resumed at a greater intensity after I returned to campus and studied with peers. My anxiety, as it is due to more than one factor of nursing school, is secondary to nursing school.
Although my heightened anxiety is of reasonable concern, it is not my major concern at the moment - my lack of sleep is. A "disturbed sleep pattern" is a nurse's way of saying I am not getting enough sleep for some reason. Despite having the right environment to sleep (a quiet, warm, dark room), an adequate amount of time to sleep, and providing myself with an almost excessive level of comfort (body pillow, three blankets, and a stuffed cat to cuddle - DO NOT JUDGE ME) I am consistently unable to fall asleep. Whenever I try to sleep, my brain will not "power down" and I continue thinking about the same things that are causing me stress, further amplifying my anxiety.
As I write, I realize that the explanation of my anxiety is not complete; I have not spoken to what anxiety is and how I experience anxiety (such as the physical response). I will not go into detail in this post about it as I do want to try to get some rest in preparation for my exam tomorrow, but I will emphasize that everyone experiences and expresses anxiety differently and that some forms of anxiety relief are not as effective for some as others.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my brief explanation of nursing diagnoses! If you have any questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments below.
I sheepishly checked in with my "boss" this morning, a nursing professor, wondering if I had missed anything while I was sick. I had not received any emails nor had there been anything left for me in my box. She says to me, "Oh, no, I just didn't want to give you things to do while you were sick and getting through midterms." WHAT. A. SWEETHEART.
First of all, Linfield professors are the best. Secondly, people like her are why I like working.
I do not know if it is my sparkling personality (wink), but the people I have worked for have not been especially disagreeable. So far. (Knock on wood.) In fact, most of my bosses I have gotten on well with. My grandfather, Guello, used to tell me to make the most of whatever job I get and always strive to do the best job I can. The best-foot-forward attitude was emphasized by my Jesuit-Catholic education in which we were encouraged by the motto ad majoram dei gloriam, meaning, "for the greater glory of God."
As far as making the most of my current job, I am very pleased with how flexible it is with my busy schedule. Knowing that my professor will adjust my workload based on my schedule is a huge relief! Now that I am healthy again and past a couple midterms, I am back to a full workload including researching books and articles on various topics related to nursing.
Researching is fun! I am enjoying the challenge of finding the most relevant and contemporary studies. I actually read through them too - partially to see how best my professor may use them in her course and partially because I become curious about the study.
This job may prove the best yet - I have learned so much already from flipping through packets for class I copied! It may be nerdy, but I really like academic work.
I am finally getting over this awful cold though at this point, it does not sound like it. I can tell because my aches, sneezes, headaches, and lethargy are gone and have been replaced with renewed energy and determination to study for the upcoming exams.
We have been focusing on cardiovascular (heart, blood, and lungs) function, including tissue perfusion (spreading blood to the body) and related issues as well as medications. We had an interesting lecture by a substitute professor on pharmacodynamics, which is basically what drugs do in the body and how they do it. We do not fully study pharmacology until second semester, but it fit in with medication administration section.
Anyway, once I began studying I felt oddly at ease - comfortable, even. I do not know if it is mostly because my lifestyle very much resembles that of a student - sitting for long periods of time, rarely eating, drinking lots of caffeine - or if I enjoy studying that much. I mean, I do truly enjoy studying, but I wonder if my normal academically-oriented routine has become a sort of relationship.
There are often jokes shared about having a relationship with one's job, but I am starting to worry that I have a relationship with academia. Here are my top 10 reasons:
Most of my time is spent with it
I talk about it constantly with my friends
I can only take minimal breaks from it before feeling slightly guilty
I drink far too much with it (caffeine)
Sometimes I sleep with it
I can look/feel terrible and it does not mind
I spend quite a bit of money on it
It keeps me awake at night
My friends all know it and some even despise it
No matter how upset I get with it, I keep coming back
Disclaimer: This might be residual brain-scrambling from being sick.
The show Catfish on MTV makes me very uncomfortable. It is about people that have online relationships, that for some reason or another have not met in person. Most people on the show are not who they say they are, which leads to the misconception that all online dating is deceitful. I have never tried online dating, but having known people who have met their significant other through online dating, I have some respect for the process.
Interestingly enough, I started watching the show after I finished watching the movie From Up on Poppy Hill for the second time. The contrast in dating between the show and the movie was striking! Granted, they are not only represent two different cultures, they represent two different time periods. From Up on Poppy Hill is based in post-Korean War Japan, focusing on two students who fall in love unexpectedly. I encourage everyone to see the movie - it is funny and cute and has a great soundtrack and, of course, directed by Hayao Miyazaki and produced by Studio Ghibli.
Catfish shows that a relationship takes time to develop and does not necessarily rely on physical closeness. From Up on Poppy Hill shows that a relationship can occur in an instant and can last. What does this mean for contemporary adults and young adults? Which dating style should we put our trust in? Is love-at-first-sight real?
*CUE ELLEN-STYLE DANCING*
Keep it cool. What's the name of this post? I can't remember, but it's alright, a-alright. JUST DATE. It's gonna be okay. Da-da doo-doo-doo. JUST DATE. You've got a message bud. Da-da doo-doo-doo. Just date. Gonna be okay. D-d-d-date. Date, date, just j-j-just date.
This week has challenged me more mentally and physically than any other week of nursing school. Returning from my relaxing week back home, I literally hit the ground running - I was going to miss the streetcar and have to wait another twenty-something minutes for the next one. I had several meetings scheduled and events to arrange as well as homework and working out. Yet with all that I am doing, I could not outrun the cold that is going around campus. I am currently fighting, tooth-and-nail to get over it, but for some reason, I cannot shake it! I need not tell you how FRUSTRATING IT IS.
With all that is going on, I am more frustrated with the sources of my friends' worries. One of the biggest concerns has been clinical sites that lack concern for residents to the extent that the residents are not receiving adequate care. Another concern has been our research course, which does not seem to satisfactorily prepare nursing students for the papers assigned. The last major concern has been keeping track of all the assignments due for each class. Although it does not seem like a significant concern, the Linfield nursing curriculum is linked with four classes a semester that must be taken concurrently and sometimes course assignments seem to run into each other because they are similar in topic.
It is unfortunate that some clinical sites do not provide adequate care for its residents, however, as nursing students we should take that upon ourselves to make a good example. This is what we are taught to do - to develop our critical thinking skills and make the healthcare community better as best as we can! It seems daunting for a first semester nursing student, but we are also adults with two years of education behind us.
As far as our research course goes, I applaud students' efforts to go above and beyond realistic expectations of educational standards of nurses. Not many nursing students will go into research, but they still feel the need to learn the material. The students are struggling to write a literature review. Not only have we had very little experience with APA formatting, we do not understand the structure of a literature review. It is one thing to have very little instruction but plenty of resources and it is another thing to have very little instructions and very little resources. Fortunately, students have bonded together and commiserated over the lack of collective knowledge.
The last concern my friends' had was over the seemingly haphazard scheduling of assignments. One piece of advice given to us at orientation was to write all the assignments and projects out in our planners so we would always have a complete reference. The unfortunate part of this, is that professors often rearrange schedules and accommodate to the learning styles of each class. This can form a jumble of problems for those nursing students who like to have clearly defined schedules.
I apologize for my rant, I just want people to realize that nursing students are humans too. My friends and I are all compassionate people that want to be the best nurses, and people, we can be. Nursing school is challenging me in ways I had not even imagined - and it is only the first semester! If all weeks are like this, I may need more support, but I refuse to give in and fall into the monotonous stereotype of a nurse. I am not going to college, putting in this much work, and drinking this much caffeine to end up like that.
Today's Photo-a-day challenge hashtag is, coincidentally, "late" and so is this blogpost. I meant to write this last night, but I was terribly exhausted after a long, difficult day as well as battling a cold.
My powerful thought for the day came after the aforementioned day and receiving a text from a friend from the McMinnville campus about being in Portland for a show at a theater nearby. I was initially crestfallen, thinking I would not be able to meet up because I was heading to clinical at the time. It was only later that night that I realized I might have the chance to meet up afterward. Three guesses what I did after clinical!
Clarification: the thought itself was not powerful, but the meaning behind it was.
The thought was simply, "Man, I really missed Rhianna." I have not seen my friend in about 6 months and I was overwhelmingly glad to see her. Rhianna's presence has the effect one would think most friends would have - immediate and simultaneous inner calm and abounding joy. Needless to say, I was genuinely happy to be reunited.
My reaction made me think of missing people. I may be the only one that thinks about it this way, but when I miss people, I am either consciously or unconsciously doing so. When I consciously miss someone, I think about them often enough that I feel disheartened that they are not present or gleeful when I can communicate with them. It is more of a physical feeling than a mental thought. When I unconsciously miss someone, I may have a memory replay about the last time I saw them or a prominent characteristic of theirs, but there is no physical response.
Neither is worse nor better than the other - I am still thinking of the person fondly. I just thought it was interesting the different ways I miss people and thought I would share in case others felt the same way.
Today is my grandfather's 80th birthday. Now, I don't have many photos of solely him, and the ones I do have are not very good. I think it is kind of a metaphor for his life though... He has always worked for others, whether that be his family, his friends, or the Church. My grandpa, Guello, is who I think of when I think of hard-work, service, and humility.
Guello used to regale me with stories of his youth, particularly of jobs that he worked, conversations that he had, and people he met. He has worked most of his life and has met so many people it is hard to believe he also spent much of his time with his family. Guello is my inspiration for when I do not think I can handle the long, sleepless nights or the rushing days. He never seems to complain about anything, especially working so much. He is always finding ways to help out in some way at church or in the family. Guello's involvement in his parish makes me want to be more involved in mine.
In honor of Guello's birthday, I want to recognize those that humbly serve the community in which they live and/or reach out to other communities in need. Thank you. There are few others like you and I, along with many others that cannot verbalize it enough, appreciate that. Your actions not only physically aid others, they emphasize the inherent goodness in people and give hope to a struggling society and world in constant turmoil. Service truly does make the world go round!
My family celebrating my grandparents' birthdays this past weekend. As you can probably tell, it was a full house!
As I was walking to the grocery store this morning, I realized how much I love Fall. The beauty that surrounds us in nature this time of year is abounding! I could not help but stare at all the buildings and trees and smile. NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Later on in the day I was administering medications via intramuscular injections (I was giving shots) to the manikins in lab and noticed across the lab that people were self-administering capillary blood glucose (CBG) tests. What was interesting about these people was not the fact that they were voluntarily "sticking" themselves, but that they were not even looking at what they were doing. I understand that for some, needles and probes are scary and feel the need to avert their eyes while experiencing a procedure using them. I, however, feel quite the opposite - I get scared when I cannot watch! My imagination goes wild with all the things that are going on just out of eyesight; it is why I have such a hard time watching horror movies. My paranoia is not unjustified - the vulnerability I experience is discernible.
Much of healthcare relies on actions done out of the presence of patients. Take for example, medication administration. We are taught as nurses to do three checks: one before removing medications, one immediately before dispensing medication to take to the patient, and one at the patient's bedside. Each check assesses the six rights of medication administration: (1) right patient, (2) right medication, (3) right dosage, (4) right route, (5) right time, and (6) right documentation. The checks are in place to prevent medication errors which can possibly lead to harmful effects on the patient. As nurses, we prepare the medications out of sight of our patients and they rely on us to administer them correctly.
After considering the perceived vulnerability during lab, I reflected on my walk earlier today and realized that I could have experienced Fall in the briskness of the air or the sound of crunching leaves beneath my feet. Not being able to observe life makes me uncomfortable, so I wonder why I feel differently toward healthcare. Both closing my eyes and relying on healthcare providers exhibit a sense of trust in the environment or world order. Could it be that human interaction means more to me than interaction with life in general? What does that mean with regards to my life, my character, me as a person? Is this the precursor to an existential crisis or am I just tired?
Today in my scholarship of nursing class we discussed at length the different types of qualitative research and some of their methods. It was exhaustive - and I am still get confused on what the difference between interpretive, heuristic, and heurmenuitics is! What was most annoying was my professor continually interjecting that we do not necessarily need to know further detail into the area we were studying or confused about unless we go into research.
Anyway, it reminded me of anthropological studies and how anthropologists conduct ethnographic research. It makes so much more sense to me from an anthropological perspective than from a nursing perspective! Nursing research makes me wonder whether I would have been better off as an anthropologist. I enjoy the idea of research, but the thought of obtaining a statistician simply because I cannot understand the reasoning behind the math irritates me. I would rather just do it myself instead of having someone tell me what to do.
The fact that (1) I could not grasp all of the concepts based on what my professor was lecturing and (2) my professor refused to answer questions that lead to a more in-depth explanation of the concepts that I did grasp initially discouraged me from wanting to pursue more information about nursing research. Then it occurred to me that my understanding of anthropological research might actually help me understand nursing research more than I thought. I have scheduled a meeting with my professor so I can express my confusion and interest in learning more about research. I am sure my professor will be confused by my persistence of the topics we were discussing in class today and will dissuade me from questioning the concepts we "do not necessarily need to know," but I hope he will dismiss my inquisitiveness as characteristic of a proper college student.
Who knows? Maybe in the future I will conduct research and implement both anthropological and nursing processes in my studies.
I finally finished reading the interview with the pope published a few weeks ago! There are many things I want to write about regarding his interview, but I thought I would segment my reflection based on sections of the interview which I thought was very well structured. I appreciated Fr. Spadero's comment about Pope Francis thinking carefully rather than giving quick responses.
One of the first things that struck me was his comment about not being used to talking to masses. He says, "I manage to look at individual persons, one at a time, to enter into personal contact with whomever I have in front of me."It reminded me of a scene in Lord of the Rings where Galadriel, the Queen of the Elves, is talking to the Fellowship and makes eye contact with Frodo and speaks to him while simultaneously continuing her speech to the group. Obviously, Pope Francis is not creepy like Galadriel is and is much more well-intentioned than Galadriel. His statement also reminds me that he wants individual contact with everyone just as God does.
One of the first questions of the interview was about himself. Pope Francis spoke about himself saying, "I am a sinner, but I trust in the infinite mercy and patience of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I accept in a spirit of penance." What a sense of humility! I often feel what is commonly known as "Catholic guilt" and when I do I am suckered into feeling unworthy of God's love and mercy. As a fellow sinner, I appreciate Pope Francis' trust in the Lord knowing what He is doing because it is hard sometimes (understatement of the year).
I learned a lot about the Jesuits during high school and spent quite a bit of time getting to know St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits, so I immediately felt a connection with Pope Francis because of his Jesuit affiliation. When he was speaking about becoming a Jesuit, Pope Francis said he was struck by his constant search for community - something I, too, also look for. Community just so happens to be one of the characteristics I found most attractive about Linfield and am I so grateful for it now that I am here. He also talked about the missionary spirit and discipline characteristic of the Society of Jesus. I wonder now that I am separated from a more direct connection with the Church (being off at an religiously unaffiliated college), how much my education in high school had to do with my positive feelings and responses toward missionary spirit and discipline.
In the interview, Pope Francis says that discernment is something from Ignatian spirituality that helps hi live his ministry. Discernment has something I have always struggled with, so it was interesting to hear what he had to say about and his experience with discernment. Pope Francis spoke so succinctly that I will not summarize what he had to say on the subject:
This discernment takes time. For example, many think that changes and reforms can take place in a short time. I believe that we always need time to lay the foundations for real, effective change. And this is the time of discernment. Sometimes discernment instead urges us to do precisely what you had at first thought you would do later... My choices, including those related to the day-to-day aspects of life, like the use of a modest car, are related to a spiritual discernment that responds to a need that arises from looking at things, at people and from reading the stage of the times... The wisdom of discernment redeems the necessary ambiguity of life and helps us find the most appropriate means, which do not always coincide with what looks great and strong.
As Fr. Spadero cleverly noticed, discernment is an important part of Pope Francis' spirituality and emphasizes his Jesuit identity. Pope Francis commented on the Society of Jesus, saying, "[it] looks to a center outside itself; its center is Christ and his church. So if the Society centers itself in Christ and the church it has two fundamental points of reference for its balance..." I appreciate the fact that Pope Frances recognizes the tension of an institution in its strive to maintain balance. It is not as simple as "focusing enough" on the "right things." Everything in the preceding sentence seems vague, doesn't it? The same goes for a spiritual life. There must be a dynamic tension keeping one's spiritual life in check - for example, making sure one is neither unconsciously nor consciously selfish. If one is consciously selfish, one will forgo opportunities of generosity, but if one is unconsciously selfish, one will take all opportunities to show generosity simply because one wants to be recognized as being generous.
Anyway, I may not be making much sense, but these are some of the things I thought about while reading about Pope Francis' thoughts about the Society of Jesus and being a Jesuit.
It is definitely getting busier and busier here in nursing school - we are past the introductory stage and into the learn-what-you-want-to stage. As stressed as I may feel, I know it is only because I am pushing myself to get things done ahead of time so I have time to catch up if I have questions or if I want to look up other related things. For instance, the other day in class we watched part of a YouTube video on congestive heart failure (CHF). Our professor showed it to us because of its relation to ineffective tissue perfusion (oxygen not getting to the body parts that need it), but I was really interested in it because I know someone who suffers from CHF so I "wasted" 10 minutes watching the rest of the video after class.
Even today at clinical I felt like I was bustling about the entire time - because I was! I had the opportunity to speak with the physical therapist, occupational therapist, and each of the nurses and CNAs. I also was able to help with perineal care, wound care, physical therapy, toileting, showering, feeding, and drug administration. I even had time to conduct a full health assessment (including vital signs; listening to bowel, lung, and heart sounds; and skin assessment) and work on paperwork on my resident for IEL!
I kept myself as busy as I could (1) because everything is still pretty new to me and (2) I wanted to have as many experiences as I could within the few weeks we have left. Needless to say, I am exhausted and it FEELS SO GOOD!
Earlier this morning my friend and I were discussing other majors we would be if we could be more than one major. The self-imposed limit was four, so I chose five:
Athletic training
Anthropology
Psychology
Creative Writing
Microbiology
Sitting in the fading light of the afternoon helped me contemplate why I was not a double major. There were the obvious reasons (financial, temporal, etc.), but I kept returning to a thought I have had more and more frequently - there is too much to know. With whatever subject topic, there is literally too much to know.
For instance, before I reflected on the previously mentioned conversation I was becoming increasingly overwhelmed with the amount of work I had to accomplish before the weekend. Added to the stress, I also felt the pressure of having to complete a major health requirement for clinical when I did not have the adequate level of health literacy to do so. (I'll talk about health literacy tomorrow. Point being, my anxiety level was high.) I could not imagine completing and being able to properly understand it all. There was too much to learn!
My dilemma reminded me of a book I read over the summer called Too Big To Knowwhich discussed the difficult topic of knowledge. It was a bit of a tough read conceptually, but it flowed well. I definitely recommend it for intellectual stimulation. Anyway, it talked about how knowledge has more depth now than ever before because of the increasing amount of knowledge available world-wide. It is actually rather mind-blowing. The book made it a point to reassure its readers that no matter how many books, articles, webpages, so on and so forth one reads, one will never be a know-it-all. As weird as it sounds, thinking about the book and all that it had to say calmed me and helped me focus on the tasks at hand.
Oh my goodness, I almost forgot to mention the obvious - October is here! The time has come for me to attempt my photo-a-day challenge again, this time with about a half a month of experience under my belt.
The challenge is to Instagram one photo a day based on the parameters written for the day. I got the list from The Idea Room - a website by Amy Huntley, the owner and author of The Idea Room and mother of five.
I will be using the hashtags #foolishinthecrowd, #theidearoom, #photoaday, #instagramchallenge, etc. I know it all seems slightly redundant, but there's social media for you! I will also be tweeting them. My links are all in the contact page, so please feel free to check them out.
Today I began writing a letter to the store manager of a Starbucks near Linfield. Why? Well, because I love my friends.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet my friend Millygoat.
She's a sweetheart in every sense of the word.
She loves nature and being active.
She's crazy... adorable.
She's also small.
Imp-like.
Little.
AND I LOVE HER!
My friend Milly is an impish young woman I met briefly at a pre-college gathering in Seattle. A year or so later, Milly and I reconnected on a whole other level. One of the many special things about Milly is that she is extremely allergic to several things. She is especially allergic to dairy.
Long story short, the aforementioned Starbucks served Milly milk instead of soy, not once, but on three separate occasions. Milly knows how to handle these kinds of situations - she simply popped some Benadryl and explained to the baristas the mishap. The baristas only offered to make her a new drink. The serious harm that could have come to my friend due to the mishap is primarily the reason I am writing the letter.
I do not want to immediately assume the mishaps were due to carelessness. I know mistakes happen - it is a fact of life. I also understand that some people simply like the taste of soy and do not have dietary restrictions like Milly's, however, I am outraged that the baristas treated it with nonchalance. I had hoped they would realize the seriousness of the situation and offer assistance of some kind, not simply another beverage. The fact that this particular location was the site of the other two mishaps alarmed me. I wonder if the baristas realized the gravity of the situation - Milly's health and safety was compromised due to simply using the wrong substance.
I find it unacceptable as a business to have such poor service. I know there are others like Milly that are lactose intolerant and suffer from mistakes baristas make and I say enough is enough. People need to know that food allergies are important and need to be treated as such. No one's loved ones should not have to be subjected to more discomfort than they have to, especially with something as basic as food.
I am following Milly's lead and avoiding the Starbucks, but I did not think that was enough. I thought the store manager ought to know the reason it lost our business. I hope that in writing to the store manager about my disappointment and concerns, the location will change its practices or at least be more aware the next time a customer with a severe food allergy appears. One can only hope!
I would like to try something new... An appreciation post. I want to appreciate all the people that foster the good in someone of a younger generation, whether it be a parent, mentor, sibling, or friend. It is people like you that make such an impact on the youngin's life. You do not necessarily have to put extra effort into taking them to all their sports matches or make them dinner or anything, but that too is appreciated. Simply showing that you are listening to them and taking them seriously or willing to spend some time with them is enough to show them that you care.
My grandmother's birthday is today. She was a huge part of my life growing up and taught me many things, especially things about myself. My grandmother made me feel worthy of being loved and believed in me when I felt no one did. She taught me compassion and how to rely on God, not just through words, but through action. Guella (pronounced Way-ah) continues to be a huge part of my life and helps me be a better person and live a better life. Guella has done so much for me in my lifetime and I don't think I will ever tire of telling everyone.
I know there are people similar to her in the world and I hope they realize they are extremely appreciated, whether the person they have affected is able to tell them that or not. These are the people in society that deserve to be recognized but most often are not because of their humility.
Time has become precious and relationships, complicated. With multi-tasking being "all the rage" and pure relationships like a unicorn, simply showing an interest in what a person has to say and spending quality time with them can foster goodness inside them, goodness that might otherwise be suppressed or neglected.
With that being said, thank you. If you are a person who has ever spent time with a younger person or offered positive advice, thank you. If you have ever put someone younger before yourself, thank you. If you have ever thought about being a mentor, it is never too late.
The event of the day was the Portland Marathon - people gathered from all over to complete the 26.2 mile marathon covering an expanse of Portland and crossing the Steel Bridge twice. It was a memorable day for friends of mine who were attempting the marathon and it was memorable for me to be at a race of that caliber for the first time. Although I was only a volunteer, I was qualified enough to be placed at a medic site.
I was initially peeved about my placement - the volunteer coordinator had placed me downtown in a shift that would have allowed me to participate in the weekly book club session with my mother and sister, but changed the mile marker and times last minute. According to the updated placement, I was to be across the bridge in an area of Portland I was not familiar with at a time directly interceding with the book club session. The volunteer coordinator failed to alert my other team members about the placement change and had some scrambling to get to the right location. Anyway, I underestimated how long it would take to get to the new location and arrived late. The remainder of the time was spent mostly treating blisters and administering water and trail mix to the walkers.
Although I had been in a poor mindset at the beginning of the day, I watched the marathoners with increasing admiration. The realization that walking 26.2 miles straight during the hottest part of the day on sometimes rough terrain was no small feat inspired me. I cheered on, congratulated, and encouraged the marathoners as they passed, acknowledging their strength in having made it that far in the marathon and even attempting the marathon.
Despite the lacking communication skills of the administration running (no pun intended) the marathon, the actual participants were a major part of my first marathon experience and for that I am extremely grateful. My experience today made me more determined to accomplish my goal of achieving a 30-minute 5k next June.
This weekend was the Portland Latin American Film Festival at the Hollywood Theatre in NE Portland. The major feature was Tlatelolco, based on the political upheaval in Mexico around the preparations for the 1968 summer Olympics. The year was a year to remember, particularly because the games were hosted for the first time by a "third world" country. Amidst the societal tension, two students from different classes fall in love and join the student-led rebellion. Sitting in the packed auditorium, I had an overwhelming feeling of being a part of something bigger than myself. Hearing the buzz of the audience, I realized Tlatelolco had built a 120-capacity community in an evening. Tlatelolco ability to move is just as powerful as it its ability to gather people and I encourage anyone who has the opportunity to see it.
After the viewing, there was a question and answer session with the director, Carlos Bolado. He has received numerous awards and nominations internationally including two Emmys. During the session, many of the audience members spoke in Spanish and Bolado responded in English. It was fascinating to hear about his thoughts of the film. Bolado spoke to the concerns for the younger generations losing interest and knowledge about Mexican and Mexican-American history. He advocated for more programs and events that would highlight historical events as well as culture. Bolado said he made the film as a seed to put out in the world that might grow into something bigger, something more useful. I appreciated his response because it is how I came to view the film - my friend invited me to go and I accepted because I had recently taken a class on Latin American revolutions in the 20th century and was interested in how the events surrounding the summer of 1968 were portrayed.
Director Carlos Bolado at the Q&A session.
From Left to Right:
Me, Carlos Bolado, and my friend.
I am still in the process of defining my identity as a Mexican-American. There are so many things that set me apart from many other Mexican-Americans my age, however, my interest in Mexican history and supporting the community helps me make connections. My friend and I had a great conversation following the events which reinforced my feelings of being a part of something larger. I have newfound enthusiasm for my position in the college's Hispanic/Latin@ club and I cannot wait to share it!
Basically all of my morning led up to clinical. Or at least that's how I felt. I was not nervous or anxious until I went searching for my ID badge. For some reason I had slipped it into the front pocket of my backpack and skipped over that pocket until about a minute before I was supposed to leave. My frantic search built up my anxiety for the evening ahead and arriving early definitely made it worse. Fortunately there was a chapel nearby so I took a moment to duck in and say a quick prayer.
Anyway, there was no need to worry. The nurses, CNAs, and staff were more than accommodating and many of the residents we encountered were encouraging and glad to have us there. Clinical proved itself to be an integral part in our education - for instance, I knew the steps to transfer a patient, but in actually doing it I realized sensitivity and forethought must accompany the steps. Thoughts such as adjusting pillows before seating a resident or scooting the resident back in the seat to make the resident more comfortable are simple things that one may not think about when learning from a textbook or practicing on a fully functional partner.
For fear of HIPAA and falling asleep at the keyboard (it has been a very long evening), I will cut myself off here. I hope to share more of my thoughts about and adventures in clinical in the future!
I worked throughout high school primarily as an audio technician and in college as a food service worker and Resident Advisor. I had thought that when I started my job as a professor's assistant I would have a very professional mindset and deal with everything accordingly. Not so! Considering the fact I was given the job so graciously by a friend I met through theatre, I should not have expected such formalities. Instead, I have met and made friends with faculty that care about me as a student as well as a person. For instance, my "boss" sent me an encouraging email after finding out I had my assessment tonight. The professor simply suggested taking a walk or running before the lab to help me relax and wished me well, but in doing so I knew I would become as fond of my boss as I have my other bosses.
I also became fast friends with one of the people I will be relying on and working closely with. She immediately offered her assistance with anything I might need help with and noted that I was a theatre enthusiast. We spent a good half an hour talking about theatre and the struggles of being a nursing student while having so many theatre opportunities in the area. She came up with the idea of getting a group of students together to see a local theatre's season opener and proposed the idea to my friend who is, coincidentally, also on student government. I was so surprised at her resourcefulness and her ability to make me immediately feel comfortable.
Fast forward several hours... I emerged from the elevators thinking that I would have some time to review one last time, but no. My clinical advisor is waiting at the open door with two of my fellow classmates and offers to get me started if I was ready. Not wanting to hold up the procession, I went into the lab and began the assessment. Afterward, my advisor mentioned one of my strengths as my ability to make things "flow" what with my almost constant conversation and demeanor. I know it was only a practice round for the real thing, but I hope I can be like my friend earlier and make the client feel as comfortable as she made me feel.
Obviously it is hard to be fully at ease in the healthcare setting (unless, perhaps, you are a healthcare provider), but I think people appreciate being treated by people that make one feel like they are almost related. I like to think of it as the "almost family" effect. Treating people with familiarity and kindness relaxes them and convinces them that you are as trusting as a family member might be. Not that you want to pretend or trick your client, but allowing them a sort of excuse to divulge information or respond in ways that they might not normally.
As you may be able to tell, I am very much looking forward to our time at the clinical sites. I hope that whatever happens, it will be a learning experience that I can benefit from somehow and share.
My costume this year was Snow White. I have always been keen on the Disney princess and after watching the television show Once Upon a Time I have become more and more attached to her. I made myself as pale as I could look without looking dead, and wore a bright shade of lipstick to complete the look.
As I mentioned, I was scheduled for the M.E.Ch.A. corner all morning, but some replacements came in time for me to complete a festive scavenger hunt around school. Of course, Red was my hunting companion. Scuttling around campus, we saw all sorts of costumes! The faculty and staff had some of the best costumes.
